Up at 4:55, Sparked and ready to Spin at the gym. Lovely strength workout on the cycle and left me feeling like I was ready to take on the world. No, wait, that's muscle exhaustion and elevated heart rate. Why I don't want to flee from that feeling, I'll never know. I guess it's the love of the bike. Loved and devoured my egg/eggwhite omelette and raspberries this morning. Still not minding the peaches and cream fiber. It must be my own eclectic taste buds that makes it OK.
New daily challenge: Eating clean at lunch with a new faculty colleague. I certainly didn't want to be 'that person' who is overly specific about food and its preparation by restaurant staff as it was our first meeting to discuss a new materials purchase plan for the library and the program she directs.
The restaurant is new to campus and I didn't have time to review the menu in advance. My plan of attack was a plain, mixed greens salad with added grilled chicken breast or salmon. No dressing--I don't mind a tasty salad without it, actually, and I've never been a dressing hound. What's the point of drowning fresh vegetables? I like the taste.
Lo and behold the menu had a grilled shrimp and mixed greens garden salad. No croutons, no cheese. Some sort of ginger peanut dressing came with, but I asked to sub vinegar and olive oil (Thanks, Linds!). I was eating normally at lunch and didn't mind that my host was being satisfied with tasty looking fish and chips. I could not finish the wealth of greens on the plate. I was disappointed the shrimp weren't grilled, but thankful they were perfectly boiled or steamed--they were tender, and not rubbery.
I had another late departure from work, and Nik had an unexpected class to teach from 6-7, so I knew I'd be prepping food when I got home. I wanted to snack when I walked in the door but began to chop instead. We had parsnip hash--diced parsnips cooked with a little salt and olive oil, diced onion and green pepper thrown in and then held off while the ground turkey cooked with fennel seed, savory, white and black pepper. Once that was done I added a diced tomato to the mix and let it stew a little longer, spooned out my 3oz serving and mixed it with a bowl full of the sauteed veg. Delightful. I didn't miss the cheese in the hash I created. Nik loved it and remarked how he forgets how much he loves parsnips. Thankfully they're in season right now with our produce source. Delicious AND organic!
While cooking I encountered crisis. My brother called and the conversation was stressful and hard. I kept fighting the urge for chocolate, yogurt, dried fruit, crackers, bread, peanut butter, deli turkey, cheese, butter, anything that I now consider comfort food and we keep in the house. It was hard enough not to snack while prepping the meal as I usually do, but I kept my resolve while responding and reacting to his words. I ended up hanging up with him after a prolonged silence not acknowledged. I wept a little but knew I needed to get back on track. I wept sorrowfully and painfully after I finished my dinner. I am still hurt and angry, but not so much as yesterday. I will need to make the plan for moving this forward. I will need to stay strong and stay on track. I'm thankful, ever thankful, for my husband and his unending emotional support of my needs. It's not right that he has to handle this fallout for me to keep me standing. But he does. He does every day.
And then there is God. For every need, we are covered. This morning's passage (Day 4/24, as I've been missing the opportunity to write at night), in my delivered reading is from 1 Timothy 4:12-16. I need it. I need to apply it. I was most unholy in my words and thoughts last night after the conversation. I am at a point I can only give what Nik calls 'tough love' and it hurts. I hear Nik speak with encouraging words, even to my brother, and my own ability needs so much work.
Let no one disregard you because you are young, but be an example to all the believers in the way you speak and behave, and in your love, your faith and your purity.
Until I arrive, devote yourself to reading to the people, encouraging and teaching.
You have in you a spiritual gift which was given to you when the prophets spoke and the body of elders laid their hands on you; do not neglect it.
Let this be your care and your occupation, and everyone will be able to see your progress.
Be conscientious about what you do and what you teach; persevere in this, and in this way you will save both yourself and those who listen to you.