Yesterday's post pointed to the zen tale of two monks and their outlook on living a virtuous life. I think about my desire to control things as a bit of a virtue. I also know from experience that too much focus on control can lead to a miserable life not open to the graces and opportunities we have available to us.
I wrote yesterday about leaving the excess scrutiny of my life behind. I was all set to do that when I encountered my counselor this morning. We talked about the surface things that weigh on my mind: my family, my work, my weight and health. I let the conversation go as there are things that I hope to let process a bit further than they have come already. So, talk turned to my brother and the challenges he has in his life. One can rationalize the reasons that he is the way he is. And so we did in today's conversation.
Then I was asked to rationalize how and why I turned out so differently from my family. It is a conversation that comes to bear quite often between me and my husband. The theory that resonates with me most is that I began reading at a very young age. Once old enough to read novels and biographies, I learned that life held much more in store than I had at my fingertips if only the path to those places and things could be identified, by the time I turned six and was in kindergarten, I knew I was going to college. I wanted to be a fireman or a nurse at that age. The job description changed each time i came in contact with a new role model.
With each new opportunity I learned a little bit more about what I would need to succeed. I am still learning today, and I think that is what sets me apart from a lot of my family.