tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-58179388219581192762024-03-13T21:31:40.728-07:00In Pursuit of a PrincessMandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.comBlogger57125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-64846857182553188162021-06-25T11:27:00.006-07:002021-06-25T11:27:51.262-07:00Speaking to Power: The Doctor's Office<p>Two years ago this November, I managed to total my car in the late afternoon. After having it towed and returning home, I took a nap. When I awoke I managed to then slip and fall down the stairs. All of this happened on the same day. The car crash was unsettling. I had never experienced an airbag deployment. I was fine, but the car was definitely not. I miss that car. The fall down the stairs was devastating. I lost it and began to wail uncontrollably.</p><p>The timing was terrible for the crash. We were leaving the next day for vacation. We were going on our annual trip to Austin, Texas for the Levitation Music Festival. Lots of walking and standing is involved. And here I was with a hyperextended, deeply bruised knee. I self-diagnosed and medicated. I used my knee brace from a similar injury in 2017 (a week before that year's vacation) and cautioned my husband that I would need to find places to sit and rest instead of standing and walking for hours on end. He was disappointed that I would be limited in mobility on vacation but understood. We found a place in Austin that provided acupuncture treatments and took advantage of that healing treatment on our first day there. Although in pain, the trip was enjoyable and a success.</p><p>Fast-forward to January 2020: I had a new-to-me car and still had pain and restricted movement in my injured knee. I needed intervention so I called my clinic for an assessment and referral to a physical therapist. My physician wasn't available, so I went with another doctor rather than wait. I'll call him Dr. X. (original, eh?) Dr. X had me do some range of motion and balance activities. He noted the swelling in my left knee versus my uninjured right knee and so we went on. He affirmed a referral for physical therapy, prescribed an oral medication for pain and swelling, and we agreed through casual conversation that I could stand to lose some weight. That was it. Nothing new or out of the ordinary. Office visit over.</p><p>I started the PT and attended for about six weeks, two to three times each week. The physio doc and assistants were great, encouraging, and challenged my fear of engaging with pain. I was able to build some strength and flexibility and in doing that my pain was greatly reduced. It was wonderful. </p><p>As the PT drew to a close, for some reason I opened my patient portal. I was looking at my chart and noticed an annotation from the January visit with Dr. X: Morbid obesity. Yes, I fit the data points for that diagnosis, but here it was in my chart. It was added by Dr. X., not my regular physician, and with no context or explanation around why he felt the need to add that particular point without conferring with the patient. Certainly my primary care physician could have put that in at ANY TIME. We actually talk about my weight and depression at each visit. I was angry. I was hurt. It was a slap in the face. It was unprofessional.</p><p>I carried that with me until just this month. Yes, I know, my Zen-master husband would be counseling me to leave that s*!t behind. But my carrying the matter wasn't so much personal, rather I was more concerned about someone else receiving the same deeply personal information without conversation. I had a medical emergency this past weekend which required a follow up (I'm OK and am going to be OK) but the only person within my leave from work that I could see was Dr. X. Seeing Dr. X was likely to help with my anxiety levels if I could bring myself to share the impact of the charting without context. So, I practiced my words, I asked for prayer and support, and girded my "speaking to power" loins in preparation for this early morning office visit. </p><p>We focused on the condition at-hand and once that was wrapping up, Dr. X stood and asked the "is there anything else?" question. "Yes, in fact there is, Dr. X. I would like to ask that in the future when you chart something into a patient's medical record that you have the conversation with them as well." He was uncomfortable and wanted to sit back down, but couldn't quite. When I went on to provide the detail as described above, he had a response that was somewhat hedgy and somewhat apologetic. His PA had the best look on his face which was a bit of, "Good Lord, what's about to unleash here?" </p><p>The explanation offered by Dr. X was that the charted diagnosis wasn't judgmental, but rather a response to a national initiative to track and control the obesity epidemic. He went further to indicate the charting software performs a calculation of weight and height to automatically enter that information. I responded politely, with tears of anger and frustration in my eyes that it still matters that context is provided and that no one going forward have that experience. I stopped the conversation there, and said I didn't need any further response, again stated that this situation should never happen again for other patients, and I thanked him for the response he gave.</p><p>In hindsight I need to give Dr. X the benefit of the doubt--it was a January appointment, the software could have updated, he might not have known about it at the time. However, the level of discomfort on his part demonstrated that he must rarely encounter patients who speak back and ask for transparent and quality, caring appointments. His final words were that I would need a follow up on the condition at-hand in a month and that I could have an appointment with him, or certainly could see my primary care physician. Indeed, I will see my regular physician. </p><p>Speaking back to medical professionals who are too clinical, cold, or fast in meeting with us is something we as patients don't often do. Asking questions is our right. Clarifying information we receive and share with our physicians is our responsibility--at the end of the day we are responsible for our health and we can't be so without understanding what our doctors are telling us. </p><p>Here is an example where I needed to ask for clarification during this most recent appointment. Dr. X used some language that wasn't clear to me when talking about a medication I would need to begin. I asked him to clarify, and he skipped way back in the conversation to explain two medical conditions that didn't apply to me. I stopped him again, and said, no, I wanted clarification about the medicine and its impact on my body. He explained and I thanked him. Here, he said, "No, of course. It's my job to explain these things." </p><p>If you are reading this and are hesitant to ask questions of your physician, please work on finding your voice. It is the physician's job to share information in a way you can understand. If you are unable to hear and understand medical information on your own, please ask a trusted friend or family member to be your ears and voice during appointments. You have this right to ask the questions you have. You may feel that you don't have the words to ask the questions, but start by saying that, "I need more information but I don't know what question to ask." is a find place to begin. The doctor or physician's assistant can help you find the words. </p><p>If your treatment during your visit has been unacceptable to you in any way, you must find your voice and speak to power at the doctor's office. Speaking to power isn't about being rude, angry, or loud, but it is about stepping into that space where we exercise our rights when someone holds power over us by position or knowledge.</p>Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-55749494509533310062020-11-04T06:33:00.002-08:002020-11-04T06:33:56.798-08:00A question of faith<p>Today I submitted a letter of resignation to my parish priest surrendering my seat on the parish council. This was long overdue, and I had intended to do so in August following the council meeting that occurred that month. I have been largely dissatisfied with the work of the council as it seems only to be a receiving or affirming group, not one of forming directions and ideas as it should be. From the first meeting I knew that as a woman I would not have a true voice on the committee. The men who were nominated or appointed members all looked to the two women on the council when the priest asked for a secretary. I took the role because I know myself and as the recorder it's the only way I stay engaged in meetings. When invited to be a part of the council I told the priest in no uncertain terms I would stay one year and one year only. It has been three.</p><p>In August the blow that came was the resignation of two male council members. I don't have a problem with their resignation, it was the means by which the priest was seeking to fill their seats that bothered me. Rather than making an announcement that seats were available, he started soliciting names at the council meeting. I suggested that he invite participation--people might want a way to serve. He took the two names, said he would talk with the already overcommitted individuals who were recommended, and moved forward to the next agenda item. Fortunately, at the November meeting they were not announced as new council members, but we did have a new member.</p><p>At the November meeting, seven months into the pandemic, and on the heels of his own COVID-19 positive status, the priest and two guests at the meeting started questioning the faith and commitment of parishioners who 'weren't strong' and took the pandemic as a way to stop attending Mass. As I sat there, I realized I am in the group who is still taking advantage of not attending Mass. Comments such as "can go other places" were thrown around. And yet, our diocese has given dispensation for not attending Mass until further notice. I held my tongue but realized I could no longer be a part of the council.</p><p>While talking this over at dinner with my DH, I was asked if I wanted to find a new church. I responded that I think so. I know that people are the same wherever you go. However, this feels wrong to stay. I've made no decision on this last point. I will hold it in my thoughts, prayers and meditations for the coming weeks.</p>Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-10245995405950023962019-12-16T20:09:00.001-08:002019-12-16T20:09:12.470-08:00You are undone- Ode to an auntI am that girl. The one you said would hate her parents in a few years for taking and sharing a photo of me, relaxed and at ease. My tummy protruded more than some at age 4. Your thoughts, judgements, and comments whispered shamed me, not the photo or the joy it captured.<br />
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I am that girl. The one you disdained for health problems you imagined on me. The problems that didn’t exist as a child emerged only when you judged and reinforced my size was not to your liking. Your observations and from stand against my own medical reports shamed me, not my otherwise vibrant physical and mental health.<br />
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I am that girl. The one whose intuition became sharp as a knife over the years, honed by subtle glances, whispers and laughs that people like you tried to hide, preserving your polite society. My institution protected me yet broke my trust in others, and that need to have trust proven rather than openly given to others shames me still today.<br />
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I am that girl. The one who sees what you cannot because I live in the life you projected on me of the shame and hurt it brings when I think of these things. Your actions tell how much you hurt from your own imperfections, those shortcomings you lay on others to lighten your load. I share that burden from you and watch while they contribute to the endless cyclic battle with shame that has followed me every day of my life.<br />
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I am that girl. I will stand. For her, the one that have tried to send on that same journey of shame. Whether intentionally or not, your shame will not be her burden. You will not hang your hurt, your own shame and your own judgements on her. It is enough. You are undone.<br />
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<span class="text Ps-139-14" id="en-NASB-16254" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;</span><span class="text Ps-139-14" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">Wonderful are Your works,</span><span class="text Ps-139-14" style="box-sizing: border-box; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "verdana" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; position: relative;">And my soul knows it very well.</span><span style="font-family: helvetica neue, verdana, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">—Psalm 139:14</span></h3>
Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-75790748938620269082017-03-05T04:34:00.002-08:002017-03-05T04:34:55.357-08:00Lent Reflection: Saturday, March 4Saturday was a day of travel for me. I woke early and could not sleep and spent time watching some television and was in my head quite a bit. The television I watched was <i>The Americans</i> a show set in the early 1980s about a husband and wife who were brought together as KGB spies to serve undercover in the United States. The couple has grown to love one another after 20 years and while the stress of the job and the fact of the 'job' itself seems to create appearances that they cannot show their love, they do have this quality in their lives.<br />
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The focus for my meditation on Saturday was Nik, my dear husband of 20 years. We have been together nearly 30 years, and we've seen the better and some worse, and we still love one another. Most of my actions were dedicated to service of him yesterday. I spent time at the knife outlet in Sevierville getting some things that he wanted for himself and others. It's a labor of love for me to do these things for him. While it has material appearances, it remains as a gesture of love.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><i>Hear, O Israel: the Lord our God is one Lord; </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><i>and you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><i>and with all your soul, and with all your might. </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><i>And these words which I command you this day shall be upon your heart; </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><i>and you shall teach them diligently to your children, </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><i>and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, </i></span></div>
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<i style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, </i></div>
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<i style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">and when you rise. </i><span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">-- </span><b style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;">Deuteronomy 6:4-7</b></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">In my time thinking about and praying for Nik on </span>Saturday, I am astounded by his constant kindnesses to others. He embraces all the best things that people have to offer and willingly sacrifices where he is able and where it will benefit those who need more than he does. His work in the world is service by nature and he seeks to do nothing more than serve others, even me. I found a tweet that he posted last Monday, when I was home ill and unable to function due to a massive sinus infection.</div>
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<span style="background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #292f33; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"><b>NikHavert </b>My </span><a class="twitter-hashtag pretty-link js-nav" data-query-source="hashtag_click" dir="ltr" href="https://twitter.com/hashtag/mondaymotivation?src=hash" style="color: #252c09; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; white-space: pre-wrap;">#mondaymotivation</a><span style="background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #292f33; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> is nursing </span><a class="twitter-atreply pretty-link js-nav" data-mentioned-user-id="14592604" dir="ltr" href="https://twitter.com/mandylyn" style="color: #252c09; font-family: 'Helvetica Neue', Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; text-align: start; text-decoration: none; white-space: pre-wrap;">@mandylyn</a><span style="background-color: #f5f8fa; color: #292f33; font-family: "helvetica neue" , "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 14px; white-space: pre-wrap;"> as she deals with a sinus infection.</span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white;">It's these small but powerful things that remind me how much I am loved here on Earth and that point to the love beyond imagination that God has for us.</span></div>
Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-90022528262404577692017-03-04T06:04:00.000-08:002017-03-04T06:04:10.222-08:00Lent Reflection: Friday, March 3In addition to my nightly prayer, or Compline, I have added a daily devotion of prayer and meditation for those who are in my life. Thursday, was focus on my dad. Friday was focus on my mom. Compline for Friday included Psalm 87: The prayer of one gravely ill. I hope that my focus on this prayer helped release some of the pain I felt at my mom's illness and passing nearly six years ago. Photos from that time are popping up in my Facebook memories, and it all comes flooding back to me.<br />
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<i>Lord, you are in our midsts, we are called by your name. </i></div>
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<i>Do not desert us, O Lord our God! </i><b>--Jeremiah 14:9</b></div>
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My work at the conference was good yesterday. My anxiety levels were low. I'm in a place where my parents were together in 1982: Knoxville, Tennessee, the site of the World's Fair. I turned 12 that same year. That was 35 years ago and so much is different. That seems strange to say, really, as change happens every moment in our lives.</div>
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I like to think that I'm good at handling change. I'm not any better at it than most people. I stress in the face of change and then put on the brave mask to work through or around it. I spend a lot of time fighting things I can give over and let go. The verse from Jeremiah above tells us how to conquer stress and to ask for help when needed.</div>
Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-62823732694627632742017-03-02T04:43:00.002-08:002017-03-02T04:43:26.126-08:00Lent Reflection: Ash WednesdayWednesday was a day of travel for me. I spent much of the day in transit by car or in the air. I was worried I would miss my flight, so I skipped morning Mass and went to an evening service in my destination city, Knoxville, Tennessee. It was the right thing to do.<br />
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The All Saints Catholic Church has a school affiliation and the sanctuary filled to capacity for the 5:00 pm service. The children were singing beautifully off-key and the pastor's homily was spot on for what I needed to hear on this day. He reminded me of the three facets of Lent: Penitence, fasting and almsgiving. I've been bombarded with ideas for Lenten commitments and have chosen one for myself. The reminder of almsgiving though gave me pause. I thought of ways I can be always prepared to give and hope that I can add this in.<br />
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My commitment for Lent, however, is including the Compline, or night prayers, from the Liturgy of the Hours in my bedtime routine. Really what my focus and intent is will bring a reflection of my conscience and an emphasis on the day. I hope that this is a habit I can form in 40 days, but if not, I plan to keep practicing.<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><i>Do not let resentment lead you into sin; the sunset must not find you still angry. </i></span></div>
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<span style="background-color: white; text-align: justify;"><i>Do not give the devil his opportunity. - <b>Ephesians 4:26-27</b></i></span></div>
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Last night's prayer and meditation helped me to see that I can use some kindness in some of my relationships, and curiosity as well. Conversation has become difficult with some family because of attitudes and things said in recent months. These aren't things that are related to politics like some strained relationships are experiencing. I have been working through my upset, and it's really more about hearing words that are contrary to life-long beliefs I have had about people in my family, particularly my dad, who I thought had been part of my formation in support of equality in how to treat others. Nik says he's trying to stir things up on purpose, that dad enjoys upsetting me. In either case, it's not right and it's not fun for me. And so my response is to shut it down and not engage in the conversations as fully as I might with others. Why would I want to subject myself to that behavior? And when I've tried to engage on why it's hurtful, wrong or offensive, I get that thrown in my face as well. It's truly difficult for me.<br />
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The Laudate app on my phone has the prayer available with the daily Psalms. Find the app in your app store (<a href="https://itunes.apple.com/us/app/laudate-1-free-catholic-app/id499428207?mt=8" target="_blank">Apple</a> | <a href="https://play.google.com/store/apps/details?id=com.aycka.apps.MassReadings&hl=en" target="_blank">Android</a>)Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-10043519354613129852016-11-12T08:35:00.002-08:002016-11-12T08:35:50.466-08:00Day 3: What My Voting Districts Look LikeWhen I went in to vote on Tuesday, my State and Local ballots were mostly familiar to me, but I had not done my due diligence for the State House Representative for my district. I had never hear his name. He was running unopposed. I did not cast a vote.<br />
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I went to work, then went home, but in the middle of the day I began thinking about why I hadn't seen the name of the person on the ballot. Where in the district did he hail? I located the district maps for both the State House and State Senate on the Indiana Government site. I was aghast at the district drawing for my Senate district. It was the strangest shape I'd ever seen. I'm in that odd pyramid shape at the top, center of the state. The largest city in the southeast corner of that block is Huntington, Indiana. The uppermost goes to the fringes of the City of Elkhart. The block spans sections of four counties. FOUR. The House District map is much more straightforward but still has its oddities in boundaries.<br />
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Indiana State Senate Minority Leader, Timothy Lelane (Democrat) is seeking to <a href="http://indianasenatedemocrats.org/statement-lanane-applauds-preliminary-draft-for-independent-redistricting-comission/" target="_blank">simplify the district boundaries</a> through his committee work. I applaud this effort which the linked article extols as a bipartisan collaboration. While I don't believe that this will ensure the state becomes more likely to turn blue during elections, it will still go a long way to helping people understand who their candidates are. By having some modicum of regularity to the boundaries, it's likely more people who are 'like' their fellow district voters will be able to see their commonalities and talk more about issues that matter.</div>
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I engaged in fleeting thoughts of seeing what it would mean to run for this State Senate seat, and largely have dismissed the idea. I am not convinced that I could do the work and have the same lifestyle I have now related to family and work. Change would be inevitable. I look forward to sharing with my new State Senator and continuing State House Representative my views, which likely will vary from theirs. </div>
<br />Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-20138247864261400772016-11-11T02:16:00.004-08:002016-11-11T02:16:46.511-08:00Day Two and the work is hardIn following my commitment today, I engaged with family on Facebook. Family who posted one line comments that seemed to follow the pattern of seeking to end any dialogue. I opened my question machine and asked for explanation on two posts from family, and to stand up in a conversation that was clearly attacking students who are understandably having difficulty processing the election outcomes. My words worked hard to be clear that I myself didn't mean to antagonize, but rather I was seeking to understand more about the comment, what it truly meant and from where it was coming. And I let a couple of comments go.<br />
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The first exchange went well. It pulled some conversation with a cousin of my husband's that hadn't happened in a long time. And he even asked in detail how we were doing in our region of the US-- meaning us literally, my husband and I. A later request from me for clarification from an aunt on the east coast went unanswered. It was a post shared, with no individual commentary on it. I have no idea what her meaning was. Did she agree? Did she disagree? I'm seeing mixed "Likes" from her and it's getting cloudy. The third exchange in response to a friend's question on a post to his wall also went unanswered, I think. I posted my observations of the protests and grieving happening on campuses much like they are on the campus of My Place Of Work (MPOW). These students don't need to grow up. They need to be permitted to process what they're feeling and learn. Student protest is a form of learning. They are bringing their emotions and fears to public for support and conversation.<br />
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After a long day, I started letting things go. I didn't have the time or energy to respond responsibly, and so I stopped. I really stopped after seeing this post from the cousin first mentioned above, and it was captioned, "LOL" by the cousin:<br />
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I wanted to post and share with this cousin that the protests, and those expressing their anger, "hate" and other emotions only want to be understood. That it is all of our business to take a moment and hear what's going on. Then I wondered if he personally encountered anyone who was expressing anger and hate, or only was responding based on what is happening elsewhere, and is being shown in the media or through links in social media.</div>
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It's very different when hearing someone captured in media, popular, social or otherwise, who is expressing emotions versus hearing it face-to-face or knowing someone who has been attacked themselves or is part of an publicly marginalized population that has been singled out in some way during the presidential campaign season. Because many candidates were not held accountable for the details of their sweeping comments about immigration, gun control, pro-life positions, medical care plans, promisers for sweeping reforms of executive orders and other platform or positions, much room for interpretation was left. Let me say that again: MUCH ROOM FOR INTERPRETATION WAS LEFT. So for those who have heard the promises from both sides, I get there is real fear and uncertainty, and we need to respect the need to process those feelings. Please don't judge.</div>
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Through observation, in recent years I have come to understand that I am a chronic "gap-filler." What do I mean by that? I hear statements from people, media and read things in print and will use my personal experience and knowledge to fill in the gaps of what isn't presented to me. I make assumptions, and I believe I do so in an educated manner. Often, I AM WRONG. So, let me close the loop on the purpose of my year of blogging my engagement with election result fallout. I am committed to pushing myself to understand what is happening around me, and will do this through asking questions and resisting the urge to fill in gaps. Where I cannot ask questions or do not get a response, I seek to find the information to fill those gaps in my knowledge honestly, to check facts and to not assume I know what's going on around me. Yes, I'm a librarian. I should be doing this anyway. No one is perfect.</div>
<br />Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-17038721608830903532016-11-09T18:24:00.001-08:002016-11-09T18:24:06.520-08:00A new day and a new commitmentI went to sleep last night knowing that the world would be here when I woke up. I knew our nation would have chosen a new leader while I slept. It happened: I woke up and a new leader was chosen. The leader chosen wasn't the candidate I picked with my one vote, but in 72 days, Donald J. Trump will be sworn in as the leader of the United States of America. Michael Pence, current Governor of the State of Indiana will be his vice-President.<div>
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I was stunned and only half surprised this morning, based on the returns I was seeing last night. I don't know why so many people chose inexperience over experience. I know some of the things that have been said, but I really, truly don't understand the triggers that have already begun to divide my families and my friends. I plan to spend at least the next year coming to terms with this.</div>
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How will I learn? How will I seek to understand? How will I hear the responses and take them under advisement? How will I get past the urge to deny what I don't want to know? I must ask the question. If you know me, you know that this is my life's motto. I learned it as an undergraduate student from an extremely wise graduate student named Karen, with whom I've since lost contact, but Karen changed my life. I moved from feeling I had to be right and know all the answers to finally getting that I didn't know what anyone's response to a situation would be unless I asked. </div>
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As my husband and I talked through the election results, and the possible outcomes that may emerge, I realized that having the conversation with others who assert their opinions will be key in moving this work in which I live back to one with a civic mindedness and modicum of civility. I committed this morning to asking the question whenever someone in the next year drops a statement that is intended to halt conversation or is less than founded in its evidence. It's what our fact-checkers attempted to do throughout this election campaign season, but were unable to communicate within and across party lines. No one is listening to one another.</div>
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My day was filled with meetings and commitments today at work. After a lovely breakfast from my husband, I drove to the city in which I work, filled the car's tank with gas (should I keep this up regularly just in case there is some sort of emergency?), dropped by the coffee shop for daily caffeine (should I be spending that money on fancy coffee when I have a coffee machine at home?), continued to the parking lot nearest my first and last meetings of the day. As I grabbed my backpack, purse and buttoned up my coat, I felt odd. I began thinking of all my friends and co-workers who I knew would be unsettled today. I thought about the guest speaker our leadership team was invited to hear today--she was away from her own family, her wife and daughter on this momentous day. And I thought about the email exchange I had with my committee colleague when I asked who would introduce the speaker. She responded no differently than usual, but before I could send my response to her, she wrote again to apologize for being crabby. She wasn't in the context of the message to me, but it told me how poorly she was feeling overall.</div>
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As I began meeting with colleagues who were gathering for the talk, it was clear they were exhausted, had been through the wringer. Most had stayed up for the results or couldn't sleep when they tried. This is the level of anxiety they experienced. I have never witnessed this in my lifetime and hope that I never do with respect to a national election again. My supervisor had been alternating between disbelief, anger and tears since learning of the results. The commitment I made was driving my message to others: It is okay. We need to keep the conversation going and challenge those who gloat, who boast, who drop the one-liners per the leader they had chosen for our great nation. My first validation came from a <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/what-should-we-tell-the-children_us_5822aa90e4b0334571e0a30b?ncid=engmodushpmg00000003" target="_blank">HuffPost</a> I read this morning while in the coffee shop parking lot. I'm afraid it wasn't much use for others knowing that I had already shifted so quickly after a good night's sleep. But I have made up my mind it's what I can do.</div>
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I got a quick temperature check when <a href="https://twitter.com/mchris4duke" target="_blank">Chris</a> began her talk. It wasn't what she'd planned. It was going to keep touching on the matters at hand. It was, in retrospect raw, direct and everything I needed to hear. Chris spoke to the need she and her Task Force on the Future of Libraries had addressed in their report: We need to meet our constituencies in their context, whether local, national or global. Whether in our academic libraries or in our municipalities. Yes! This resonated. Someone I have grown to respect in my profession was speaking to me and about the way we need to handle the world in which we live.</div>
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During the conversation in the first talk, I was ready to ask questions and ready to seek understanding. My colleagues were also eager to talk. By the time I was able to enter into the conversation, I didn't ask the question I thought I would, but rather talked around it and asked about getting time and attention with our students and helping them with their information and digital literacy needs when the have no disposable time in their schedules. Chris suggested that we in the library continue to seek to provide the safe haven for students, to listen to them, and to understand their context. Her successes at her place of work have been showcased through engaging people with simple questions or open discussion topics. I believe we can do the same.</div>
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As the talks wrapped up, I said good-bye to Chris and she went to lunch with colleagues while I began my walk to the Library to take care of business and work the "Ask Us" desk for an hour. As I left the conference center I could hear student voices coming from across campus. I remembered seeing some information about a student protest that was cleared through proper channels, but I thought it had been the week before. As I continued toward the library, the voices grew more clear and stronger. These students were protesting outside of the large academic classroom buildings. I could hear variations on a litany: "We stand for..." followed by any of the following and more: the undocumented, LGBTQ rights, black rights, Latino rights, and it went on. Many chants followed on cycle as a cantor raised her voice in leadership: Build bridges not walls!, Love Trumps Hate!, Notre Dame Against Hate!, Together! United! We'll never be divided!</div>
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As I approached their circle of protest and support for others, I saw some of my colleagues who had been at the meeting watching from outside the circle. This was the students' moment, and they were watching in support. Hugs were exchanged. I stood in solidarity. Watching. As I watched, I watched the faces and texted a dear friend who is out of the country with her husband on vacation. They were saddened to the extreme by the results. He is a documented worker in our country. He is unsettled. I did my best to reassure them of the beauty that was going on before my eyes. I did not share the thrown verbal dissension from some students. They are in the right to share their thoughts. I was saddened that they would not, could not or did not engage in a critical conversation, something that is part of the core curriculum at our university.</div>
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As I stood longer, I was joined by a postdoctoral fellow I know. She was as emotional as I was, and like me I could tell it had been coming in waves. As we stood and talked, we discussed the beauty of tenure status and being able to join in comfortably with the students. We talked about where the rest of the faculty were at this moment the students were raising voices. We worried about safety and security needs, and committed to standing with the students until they moved on. They did move on. It was literally a moving protest, and remained peaceful from what I can tell.</div>
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I chose not to take photos for the sake of the students' privacy, even though their fellow students were indeed taking pictures and video of the event. I am proud of the faculty who were joined in the circle with these students exercising their rights. I did overhear two students on the sidelines. They did not disparage, but they watched. Then one asked a question of another, "How can we be at the same Catholic university but have such different viewpoints?" I wanted to reach out and help by asking for more information. I wanted to hear what the division really was between him and the group in protest. I didn't. It wasn't the right moment despite my stated commitment. I later considered writing a letter to the editor of the student newspaper and posing the question there. I do believe that the library can lead the conversation, if we choose. I may continue that thread with our University Librarian tomorrow as I continue to process today's events.</div>
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As for me, the last 26 hours has been a whirlwind. I entered into this new place that I'm in through my church small group meeting last night. At this meeting we discussed the topic of the Holy Trinity, and how the trinity is a representation of community as well. So, what can I do to understand and engage with my community? How can I see opportunity to be a support within my community? And really, what community do I mean when I ask these questions? To get there, I think I have been given a great opportunity: to seek understanding of my community through seeking to understand those things that join us together and those that attempt to divide us.<br /><br /></div>
Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-48001233691368411932016-11-09T17:41:00.000-08:002016-11-09T17:41:30.951-08:00Where context matters: Reading the substance behind the message<table border="0" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" style="background-color: white; border-collapse: collapse; color: #222222; font-family: arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12.8px; text-align: center; widows: 1; width: 580px;"><tbody>
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--Originally written July 2016--saved as draft; never posted --mh<br />
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MT 13:10-17</div>
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The disciples came and asked Jesus, “Why do you speak to them in parables?” He answered, “To you it has been given to know the secrets of the kingdom of heaven, but to them it has not been given. For to those who have, more will be given, and they will have an abundance; but from those who have nothing, even what they have will be taken away.<br />
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“The reason I speak to them in parables is that ‘seeing they do not perceive, and hearing they do not listen, nor do they understand.’ With them indeed is fulfilled the prophecy of Isaiah that says:<br />
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‘You will indeed listen, but never understand, <br />
and you will indeed look, but never perceive.<br />
For this people’s heart has grown dull, <br />
and their ears are hard of hearing, <br />
and they have shut their eyes; <br />
so that they might not look with their eyes, <br />
and listen with their ears, <br />
and understand with their heart and be converted— <br />
and I would heal them.’<br />
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“But blessed are your eyes, for they see, and your ears, for they hear. Truly I tell you, many prophets and righteous people longed to see what you see, but did not see it, and to hear what you hear, but did not hear it.”</div>
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Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-27245770219382709592015-07-21T06:51:00.002-07:002015-07-21T06:51:38.007-07:00Spinning my wheels (in a good way)Last Monday I went to Chicago and purchased a used, but good quality, refurbished spinner bike. If you're not sure what that is, it's a stationary bike that allows you to ride like you're out in the elements and get an excellent cardio and strength workout without the risk of being plowed into by a modern driver.<br />
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I got hooked on Spinning classes about six years ago before my mom got sick. It had been years since I'd been bike riding, something I loved and lived as a child. I could ride what seemed like forever and a mile back then. I was happiest in the saddle. I could have been riding nearly every day since 1998 when my dear husband purchased mountain bikes for us, but the bike never quite fit me right. The spinner allowed me to adjust the saddle, handlebars and distance between to fit my body perfectly. I purchased clip-in shoes and was in heaven the second time I took an instructor-led class (I nearly vomited in the first class, but we'll not go there just now).<br />
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For the next five years I was consistent in class, happy to be there, even for the 5am class which was my favorite and loved the sweat, particularly when after my sinus surgery in 2011 I began to pour out sweat for some reason in every class. This was totally not me and the gym. I loathed the gym but went only because I knew if I didn't my health would slip into oblivion.<br />
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Something happened to me in 2014. I hit a wall. I quit going to the gym. There was no reason this started, and I still cannot put my finger on it. After my summer travel for conference and a brief vacation, I.Just.Stopped. Then, the location for the gym moved. I visited once, but didn't like the energy or the setup of the gym. Still, I cannot put my finger on it. Then, I talked with my all-time favorite Spinning instructor, who told me the new setup meant we had to move our bikes into formation at the beginning of class and stack them back up after. What?! I'm not that lazy, but it turns out I am. Maybe.<br />
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One year later and I'm that sap who's still paying for a gym membership she's not using. I'm about to cancel it but I can only do so between 8am and 5pm on a weekday. That's when the facility is staffed with the person who can make this happen. Nevermind that I work outside the city during those hours.<br />
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While struggling with my exercise ennui, and knowing that the weight gain I've had in the past year proves the theory I had with my five year exercise commitment prior to the past year, I had to do something. I receive monthly newsletters from Spinning (tm) for sales on equipment, accessories and programs. I started searching online auctions for information and came across a seller in the Chicagoland area. The price, if the bike was in as good condition as stated, was a steal. The company in question cleans out failed gyms, purchases their equipment and resells it to new gyms or private homes. When we were on site, my husband and I learned that more than 50% of the company's sales are to private buyers like we were becoming.<br />
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I happily rode last week to two different videos available on YouTube. Until I have my bearing and am up and running with my own programs, I'll be relying on finding quality instructors online. I'll be soon saving $30/mo on the gym membership which makes me happy. One year and I'll have the bike paid for. I'll consider an online service like Daily Burn at some point.<br />
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My difficulty is keeping on schedule with my workouts. I was unable to sleep last night (and the Monday prior), which resulted in my 40 minute workout wearing me out, making me nauseated, cranky and unable to function at work. This morning I had a similar experience -- not able to sleep until after midnight, disruption when my dear husband came home from a late night, and exhaustion when the alarm was preparing to go off. I woke to the dog nudging me, the cat sleeping on me and a puddle on the living room floor. Cleaning and feeding the pets took priority.<br />
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So, perhaps tonight after my work is done for the day I can ride.<br />
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Good reminders for form and setup: <a href="http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/workout/cardio/spinning/spinning-tips/?sssdmh=dm17.811170&hid=&esrc=nwftn072015" target="_blank">Shape Magazine Spinning Article</a>Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-71564499309676180552015-02-20T06:03:00.000-08:002015-02-20T06:03:31.175-08:00It comes around, again and againA few weeks ago I was struggling with a multi-day, eye-socket impaling headache. It's the kind I get from time to time that requires an intensive treatment, such as a spinal adjustment or a prescription level migraine medicine to bring any meaningful relief. I chose to visit my osteopath's office for a spinal adjustment.<br />
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My primary care physician wasn't available so I opted for another doctor in the clinic. Dr. S is someone I had seen a few times before in the past. I wasn't worried as he's done well. When I got in to see him, on time, for my appointed time, he began with a brief introduction of himself and a thorough discussion of symptoms and possible causes. I think because I had self-diagnosed he wanted to check. He began a physical exam by targeting pressure points appropriate to the symptoms and found MANY that were painful and sore to the touch. I wouldn't have realized the pain in my knee was related to the pain in my eye-socket.<br />
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Three motions later, with appropriate physics and pressure and I was on my way to pain-free. The driving pain was gone by the end of the visit.<br />
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What happened during the adjustment and following moments of recovery was a continued interview about the other things that are in my medical record: Anxiety/depression and its medications along with my polycystic ovarian syndrome and reproductive health. These two things are, I know, forever intertwined. I'm of an age where I am: 1. concerned about ongoing use of hormones to mitigate symptoms from the PCOS and 2. thinking about whether the organs most impacted need to be excised. We had an introduction to this conversation. I'm still thinking.<br />
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Today I was reading my email and news feeds. I subscribe to Goop, probably to the chagrin of many of my friends who consider the brains behind the cite to be less than realistic in our world. However, I appreciate the physicians she uses and their ability to understand complicated medical issues. Today's feed included an entry about PCOS and its management with nutrition. My interest piqued. I have been told over and over and over and over again that weight loss is the key. Of course it is. I get the argument. However, my body seems to have other ideas and I know I'm at my highest weight ever now. The recommendation: Jumpstart with a 10% weight loss. Ten percent. Ten. That's all. I know the number I need to hit with that, and while daunting I suspect it can be done. So, without further ado, I'll be working to commit and commit hard to the recommendations made here: http://goop.com/hormones-weight-gain-and-infertility/<br />
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<br />Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-78490477789993388732015-01-16T08:24:00.000-08:002015-01-16T08:24:11.810-08:00Getting It Right: Considering the State of the StateI did not listen to Governor Mike Pence's State of the State address earlier this week. I will likely now go back and revisit the session via recording. I received today a request from a member of my state library association to respond to a pending budget cut recommendation from the Governor's office that would remove access to a general research database known as INSPIRE. Here's what I had to say to my state senator and state representative:<br />
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As this legislative session kicks off in 2015, I have become aware that a budget proposal exists to cut the funding that provides statewide access to the resource INSPIRE. INSPIRE is a means of access to scholarly information for our public at-large, and serves not only public library constituencies but also those secondary school students and members of the voting and non-voting public who come to my institution's academic library for research assistance.</div>
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I work at the University of Notre Dame, and while we have a subscription to the same resource, because of our licensing terms, we are not able to provide access to the resource to members outside of our campus community. However, we are able to impact the successful study of students at both public and private schools who are conducting research into projects with roots in engineering and construction and historical impacts of economic events. Access to the statewide subscription to INSPIRE ensures that these students can continue their research in their classrooms or at home after the end their visit to our library.</div>
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I am happy to supply other examples that can help you make the case for preserving the budget to support this educational resource. I would ask that if [removal of reference to senator's name] you are looking for ideas on how to expend all or part of our state's budget surplus, you advocate for bolstering access to these and other educational tools, as well as providing for access to free and low cost health care for unemployed and underemployed men, women and children who are residents of the State of Indiana.</div>
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With Best regards,</div>
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I have received paper mailing surveys from both my senator and representative in the past weeks. They are, thankfully, interested in soliciting input as the legislative session has gotten under way. The survey is never worded clearly and never really seems to have enough room to respond in any given detail. This isn't the first time I've contacted the politicians who steer policy and laws to govern my life, but I'm at an age where I'm really starting to feel it.<br />
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I've been up in arms in the past few years about inconsistencies that disparage those who truly are in need. Who, for whatever reason are unable to bootstrap themselves out of hardship or poverty. Our state has little compassion when it comes to providing for these individuals. We [state leadership] are proudly hailing our budget surplus. Yet we have individuals who go without at the most fundamental needs, and who have little or no access to the services they need.<br />
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We need to identify the ways to get it right, justly and ethically so, within the State of Indiana. There is no one answer, but let's strip off the mantles of party allegiance at the state and national levels to remove the barriers to health, welfare and education that we can. No change will be overnight. It's all relative and all incremental. Yet, can we not do this?Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-13058881652508966932015-01-05T08:14:00.000-08:002015-01-05T08:14:52.577-08:00Reaction to microaggressions - family styleWhile reading a <a href="https://chroniclevitae.com/news/842-we-can-t-afford-to-hold-our-breath?cid=VTEVPMSED1" target="_blank">blog post on Vitae</a> today, I linked to a new word for me: microaggression. I had not heard the term before, but parsing it in the context of the blog post written to address the need to talk about hard topics, those that give us all pause or raise our hackles, I knew it was a word I needed to learn.<br />
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Rather than hitting on a definition of what a microaggression is or is not, I was presented with examples of their occurrence within higher education. The context for which this most significantly applies to my life at present is in the personal or family realm. My second day of 2015 was ripped apart in the afternoon by a call I placed to my dad. I called to let him know I'd followed through on his request from our voicemail exchange to send my brother a text message about keeping the taps on during the hard subzero temperatures we're experiencing this week (they don't call one another for various reasons).<br />
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In exchange, I got an outright, typically playful, aggression, demanding to know "Where have you been?" The concern being he wasn't sure if I was OK and all. I explained I'd called the day before and left a message, and he had done the same in return. I was a little on edge after this, but hoped to see the conversation through.<br />
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The conversation continued to go downhill. I was (micro aggressively) berated for not telling my step-sister and her partner that dad was old. He suggested I must have told them he is old because they were treating him that way. He's 72, by the way. I asked why he thought this and he said they were treating him as though he couldn't remember things. I asked him if he had memory problems. He denied, and then I asked him if he thought he was old. I got a circuitous response and again, grew a little more on edge. He's consumed by his mortality. I can't help him, and I feel helpless.<br />
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Finally, he asked about my other brother and his new/old girlfriend/fiancee. I said I hadn't heard from them. Again, why he doesn't call his son is outside my understanding. It's always somebody else's fault. Dad moved forward and made comments about whether we were in a fight or if my brother was still in the relationship. I shut down. I admitted I didn't know. Dad asked if I'd made them mad, or the girlfriend, like I did last time they were together. I shut down completely. "Are you there?"<br />
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I feel helpless. I know what the response will be if I openly discuss why my silence is there. I know what will happen to me if I continue to be silent. I'm thankful for the open discussion of the blog author, Felicia Harris, Ph. D. candidate, regarding social problems and microaggression. I know the drill for being able to talk about my reactions to others' comments or actions. I know to make it about me and my feelings, not an attack (or perceived as such) on another's part.<br />
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What I learned from Ms. Harris' post is that when I address the problem at hand, if the person is or is not responsive and willing to talk about the matter is beyond my control. Yes, I am sure I knew this before, but it feels revolutionary and exciting at this moment. What I learned from the comments in the microaggression blog entry is that what someone 'intended' to say doesn't matter a lick. It's the *impact* of what was said that carries. Perhaps explaining this to my dad would be helpful. Perhaps not. I will add this to my considerations as I move forward this week. Wish me well. Wish me luck. Offer a prayer. All are good currency with me.Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-81571857785735761452014-12-29T13:05:00.000-08:002014-12-29T13:05:10.595-08:00Wrap up, and forecastI had a down year for the most part. Activity was good across the board, but a severe depressive swing took me out of commission on good nutrition and fitness. Those are my top starters for the coming year.<br />
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I received this Horoscope from Refinery29 in my email today. I'm recording it here so I have a comparison for the end of 2015. I'll be curious to see how things pan out in relation to this prediction.<br />
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<span style="color: #222222; font-family: TiemposText-bold, serif; font-size: 14px; font-weight: 600; line-height: 22px;">Libra (September 23 — October 22)</span><br style="color: #222222; font-family: TiemposText, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;" /><span style="color: #222222; font-family: TiemposText, serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 22px;">It’s all about who you know in 2015, Libra — and by the time the year is half through, you will have added a lot of people to your friend list. The question is: Are they the right people? While your popularity is expanding faster than Uber’s livery fleet, whose arms can you really trust-fall into? Finding the Kendall to your Kylie could be an important search mission in 2015. A team effort could bring major success nonetheless. You’ll learn important lessons about managing the troops. On April 4, a lunar eclipse in Libra helps you step forward and shine as a star or capable leader. Your hard work could even attract major media attention. Got an idea for an invention, website, or community-improvement project? Bring it to life before August 11 — you might even crowdfund it. This is also a great year for Libra media mavens to self-publish a book, drop an album, or film a documentary. As for amour, a Mars-Venus pairing makes you extra attractive from February 20 to March 17. Strike while the iron is scorching. Your cosmic ruler, Venus, is retrograde from July 25 to September 6, which could bring a lull. Fortunately, Venus will visit your sign from November 8 until December 4, helping you get romance back on track. Watch your words — and your temper — while Mercury is retrograde in Libra from September 17 through October 9. In the fall, make room for the muse! Jupiter slips into your soulful 12th house for a year on August 11. Though your creativity will be super-sized, you’ll need more support from friends — and quiet time to recharge in the last quarter of 2015.</span>Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-77088417055982951702014-09-25T16:21:00.001-07:002014-09-25T16:21:40.319-07:00Wake up? Wake up! Wake up.One of the <a href="https://www.linkedin.com/groups/Have-you-had-wakeup-call-4409416%2ES%2E5901409897030905857?view=&item=5901409897030905857&type=member&gid=4409416&trk=eml-b2_anet_digest-hero-5-hero-disc-0&midToken=AQFRvuRwsNIjLQ&fromEmail=fromEmail&ut=2j8Gy0adOD0Cs1" target="_blank">LinkedIn groups</a> to which I subscribe recently prompted its readers for some discussion on the topic of being confronted by and surviving a wake up call. The Kathy Caprino, the moderator asked, "Have you had a wake up call that changed your life?"<br />
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Indeed I have. If you've read my blog in the past you'll know that I explored the years 2010 and 2011 closely in my heart, mind and soul. I have more distance than when I last visited this season of my life and today I was tested again in how I choose to respond to the call.<br />
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I attended a workshop at my place of work and as I arrived and started to settle in, so did one of the figures who presented me with a wake up call in the workplace. I am certain that the perspectives on the call vary depending upon the role an individual had. I could sense the tension between us but we cheerfully (yeah) said hello to one another and went our own ways into the workshop venue.<br />
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At this time in my life I was managing a series of personal and family crises that I was trying desperately to keep out of the workplace. The individual I saw today in fact pushed me out of the workplace so that I might spend time with my mother who was diagnosed with terminal cancer and subsequently died. The loss of my mom was a wake up call that is deeply personal and not one I am prompted to revisit here. It's the workplace wake up I received, for better or worse at the time that has my attention today.<br />
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In a world where I have been a 'better me' I would never have been the person I was at the time of that call. I was embittered, burned out and without compassion as a result of the work environment I was involved. I cannot blame others for how I treated employees, but I can reconsider how I began my journey down a path that was less than satisfying and left bridges burned and feelings hurt while I worked to defend the needs of my employer and the demands of my administrators. Along with bridges I torched much of my personal integrity.<br />
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On the day I had to return to work following my forced, but much appreciated in retrospect, leave of absence, I was called to a meeting by the woman I saw today. It appeared on my calendar with no details of what the meeting would entail. I asked for details so might properly prepare for the meeting and was told I could not have them with a curt, "No."<br />
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At that moment I was awake. When I entered the meeting the call screamed at me. When I left and in the months subsequent, I was fully awake and on watch, looking for my call to the next phase of my life. I managed to pull together my professionalism and keep working for my employer. I was no longer responsive to my administrators in ways that were not true to who I am. I was strong enough to attempt course correction with those I hurt through my own mistreatment, and remained true to those I had rightfully worked to bring back to course in their own work.<br />
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Many of the administration involved are no longer with my employer. We have new leadership for the most part and the interim administrator was moved to another unit on campus where she remains. Every now and then we are at the same events. Each time I feel a little more at ease being in proximity, but I heed the wake up call I received and remain distant, appropriately so as a professional. I know some day I will be called to work with the woman again. At that time I hope that what I have learned about maintaining my integrity will be strong. That the resolve to do what is right will remain.Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-61958530325407740772013-10-10T03:38:00.001-07:002013-10-10T03:38:51.315-07:00Challenge - Day 25As life happens I am not a consistent blogger. So, suffice it to say I'll make a summary here from the last entry until this morning.<br />
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I am, evidently, a consistent follower of my plan. I estimate I followed my plan 90% of the time. I didn't keep track that closely. My worst cheat day was two extra handfuls of raw, unsalted almonds in a fit of stress at work.<br />
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Results matter, so what are my results on this, the day after completion of the challenge?<br />
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A total of 7.75 inches lost around my body. I was disappointed with the numbers last night, but I need to keep remembering that people are noticing my health and shape has changed. They are commenting on weight loss and radiant skin. I have noticed these things too. I think I mentioned I went shopping in my own closet last weekend. I switched from spring / summer to fall / winter clothes. I got rid of *too big* and too shabby. I took clothes to both Goodwill and the local consignment shop. My clothes that went unworn for a year in the great closet hanger turnaround now fit me the way they are supposed to. This alone contributes to people thinking I've lost much more weight than I have. A close friend at work asked (somewhat seriously) if my total weight loss was 'like 50 lbs.' I assured her it was only 24 since April. 24 that I've lost and kept off.<br />
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So, the big reveal is this morning's weigh in. My ten day cleanse loss had been 8lbs. That was amazing in my mind for 10 days. I expected big loss for the second phase, the 14 days. I was a little disappointed, but I had no set number for expectation. I lost an additional six pounds. Overall I've done away with 30 pounds of weight in six months. My BMI has gone from 37 to 33. Still 'obese' but so much better. With 19 more pounds loss I will be under 200 lbs...I cannot tell you when I was under that number last. My best guess is junior high school judging by photos of me in high school and jr. high.<br />
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So, what have I gained? I have gained energy and a reaffirmed commitment to life. I have a spring in my step and do not get winded climbing stairs in multiple flights now. I have always enjoyed my Spinning workouts at the gym, but now I feel like and do up the intensity as much as possible to stay within the training ranges. I've also been planning my post-challenge binges for about a week now. This morning, I didn't really want to blow that, so I sit with my HBEGGS (hard-boiled eggs) and kiwi berries. I packed my salad for lunch and snacks 'as usual.' I want to keep the weight off. I will let myself have some 'indulgences' but if it goes like last night, it won't be out of control. (A friend at work asked to cook dinner for me between end of day and preparing for a library workshop we needed to observe. It was her shrimp scampi. The recipe was clean save the linguine--it wasn't whole wheat. I went sparingly, probably had a half cup and not more with five large shrimp cooked in garlic, olive oil and lemon with parsley. It was delicious and filling.)<br />
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So, I am changed, for the better after this challenge. I encourage anyone to try it but strongly recommend that you are committed from before you begin. I didn't want 'unclean' foods throughout the challenge because I decided that the results would matter. I loved that I could prepare for the week and then spend less than five minutes each day preparing my meals. Shopping in my fridge from the preplanned menus was awesome.<br />
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I am to wait ninety days before trying another cleanse according to what I've read. That's roughly 12 weeks, so come January I will be ready (perhaps) to begin another cleanse. I have friends who are starting the program this week. I encourage them to be encouraged. I will support you, listen to you and answer questions from my own perspective. Know that your journey is yours. It's an individual experience like none other. You are in control and you decide what works best for you.<br />
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Peace be with you.Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-37371816508358813692013-09-26T13:41:00.000-07:002013-09-26T13:41:10.667-07:00Challenge - Days 8/24, 9/24 and 10/24<div class="tr_bq">
I can hardly reconcile the ability I've had in staying with the program. Really? 10 days? No starches, no dairy? Who is this girl?</div>
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Me. I managed to keep on target and not allow myself to binge when crises have hit. I'm over committed a great deal right now and I'm still making myself do what I need to do. I stepped on and got measured within the last 24 hours. I've lost some inches--and stayed the same in some areas. I've lost a total of 8lbs by the wee early hours of the morning on Day 11! Can you believe it? I do workout, but I'm not a demon about it my any means.<br />
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Yesterday was eye opening in many ways. I was at lunch with my best friend at work. She and I sat at a cafe table in the concourse of the library and a fellow employee asked if she could leave her BK bag on our table while getting a paper from the machine. Sure. BK was never my favorite, but when the smell of that bag hit my nose I thought I was going to lose it. IT SMELLED TERRIBLE. I wanted to run away from it. My friend assured me it was only for a minute or two. She was right, but foul, foul odor.<br />
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For anyone who is reading along, keep me in your prayers. I've entered my 'burn/refuel' cycle now. I will have no fruit! on some days and that will be hard for me. So far today I really haven't missed the fruit...afterall, I had the luxury of a chocolate meal replacement shake for breakfast. DELIGHTFUL! I've missed ice cream and my beloved Arctic Freeze dessert. having an icy beverage really helped soothe some of the cravings for binge and cheat foods that I've been having.<br />
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Since 14 whole days remain now, I see that I'm more than one-third complete. I'll be happy no matter what at the end of the trail even if I maintain what I have now completed and achieved. My goal was a reboot of weight loss and I've broken that dreaded 'mark that cannot be broken,' so now it's up to me to keep up the good work.<br />
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The first reading from my devotional today:<br />
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Haggai 1:1-8<br />
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<blockquote>
In the second year of King Darius, on the first day of the sixth month, the word of Yahweh was addressed through the prophet Haggai to Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel governor of Judah and to Joshua son of Jehozadak the high priest as follows, 'Yahweh Sabaoth says this, "This people says: The time has not yet come to rebuild the Temple of Yahweh." '</blockquote>
<blockquote>
(And the word of Yahweh was addressed through the prophet Haggai, as follows,)<br />'Is this a time for you to live in your panelled houses, when this House lies in ruins?<br />So now, Yahweh Sabaoth says this, "Think carefully about your behaviour.<br />You have sown much and harvested little; you eat but never have enough, drink but never have your fill, put on clothes but feel no warmth. The wage-earner gets his wages only to put them in a bag with a hole in it." </blockquote>
<blockquote>
Yahweh Sabaoth says this, "Think carefully about your behaviour.<br />Go up into the hills, fetch timber and rebuild the House; and I shall take pleasure in it and manifest my glory there -- Yahweh says.</blockquote>
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Remarkable how we get what we need when we need it. And so it is with my body as a temple. I am rebuilding, and I will be satisfied and have enough.Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-44868915245031042072013-09-23T11:56:00.000-07:002013-09-23T11:56:38.400-07:00Challenge: Days 4/24 - 7/24Having worked full time this past week, and trying to keep up with some family drama and my coursework, I lacked energy or commitment to do my work on staying on track with the challenge AND write about it. Here is a top level summary.<br />
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Thursday, also known as Day 4 was without much disruption. We had much to do at work that day. I worked through my lunch for another meeting and also had zero time for getting work off my desk. I worked on details of a poster I'd be co presenting at conference on Sunday in West Lafayette. I managed my snacks, etc., on time.<br />
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Friday came with new challenges. It was the celebration for the library building's 50th anniversary and much food and music was on the plan. I did resist the cupcake and other sweets, but Lord knows I wanted a cookie. My veg and almonds held me satisfied though. In the midst of the university librarian's remarks on the occasion I saw Condoleezza Rice sweep through the concourse with her security team. Suspect she had been visiting Fr. Hesburgh. She is tall, thin and beautiful. Yet another dissuasion from the cookie.<br />
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Friday night proved more challenging. Our Apple Festival had opened the night before and carnival food was in the air. Nik thawed some less than appealing perch but the sirloin tips were calling my name. I didn't think of it right away but it is likely the tips are rolled in butter, a violation of the no dairy principle under which I operate now. My tummy turned in the middle of the night but thankfully there were no unfortunate outcomes. I really didn't feel challenged by the sweets and other food. I am still sad that I cannot have mushrooms right now.<br />
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Saturday was more of the same, but my parents were on hand with an agenda of the parade and coffee shop along with junk food alley. Still, I held strong and had the ribeye sandwich sans bread. My craving for fried dough was rising when the elephant ear appeared. Thankfully I learned that I had lost well over the week so I fought hard to stay on track. I was early but could not remember if day seven or day eleven was the right time. Day six was used since I didn't have access yo the gym on Sunday.<br />
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Sunday was worst. Day seven was not fair. I wanted buttery corn and sweet and salty kettle corn. Wasn't there a way I could buy it and keep it until October ten? Thank you, but no. In fact I did not take money with me to the fest and Nik had only enough for his lunch. I had leftover ginger chicken while preparing my food for the week. I had to pack for my two and a half day symposium, and take my own snacks to stay on plan.Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-89461329523135987572013-09-19T05:20:00.001-07:002013-09-19T05:20:24.865-07:00Challenge - Day 3/24<div class="tr_bq">
Up at 4:55, Sparked and ready to Spin at the gym. Lovely strength workout on the cycle and left me feeling like I was ready to take on the world. No, wait, that's muscle exhaustion and elevated heart rate. Why I don't want to flee from that feeling, I'll never know. I guess it's the love of the bike. Loved and devoured my egg/eggwhite omelette and raspberries this morning. Still not minding the peaches and cream fiber. It must be my own eclectic taste buds that makes it OK.</div>
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New daily challenge: Eating clean at lunch with a new faculty colleague. I certainly didn't want to be 'that person' who is overly specific about food and its preparation by restaurant staff as it was our first meeting to discuss a new materials purchase plan for the library and the program she directs.<br />
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The restaurant is new to campus and I didn't have time to review the menu in advance. My plan of attack was a plain, mixed greens salad with added grilled chicken breast or salmon. No dressing--I don't mind a tasty salad without it, actually, and I've never been a dressing hound. What's the point of drowning fresh vegetables? I like the taste.<br />
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Lo and behold the menu had a grilled shrimp and mixed greens garden salad. No croutons, no cheese. Some sort of ginger peanut dressing came with, but I asked to sub vinegar and olive oil (Thanks, Linds!). I was eating normally at lunch and didn't mind that my host was being satisfied with tasty looking fish and chips. I could not finish the wealth of greens on the plate. I was disappointed the shrimp weren't grilled, but thankful they were perfectly boiled or steamed--they were tender, and not rubbery.<br />
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I had another late departure from work, and Nik had an unexpected class to teach from 6-7, so I knew I'd be prepping food when I got home. I wanted to snack when I walked in the door but began to chop instead. We had parsnip hash--diced parsnips cooked with a little salt and olive oil, diced onion and green pepper thrown in and then held off while the ground turkey cooked with fennel seed, savory, white and black pepper. Once that was done I added a diced tomato to the mix and let it stew a little longer, spooned out my 3oz serving and mixed it with a bowl full of the sauteed veg. Delightful. I didn't miss the cheese in the hash I created. Nik loved it and remarked how he forgets how much he loves parsnips. Thankfully they're in season right now with our produce source. Delicious AND organic!<br />
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While cooking I encountered crisis. My brother called and the conversation was stressful and hard. I kept fighting the urge for chocolate, yogurt, dried fruit, crackers, bread, peanut butter, deli turkey, cheese, butter, anything that I now consider comfort food and we keep in the house. It was hard enough not to snack while prepping the meal as I usually do, but I kept my resolve while responding and reacting to his words. I ended up hanging up with him after a prolonged silence not acknowledged. I wept a little but knew I needed to get back on track. I wept sorrowfully and painfully after I finished my dinner. I am still hurt and angry, but not so much as yesterday. I will need to make the plan for moving this forward. I will need to stay strong and stay on track. I'm thankful, ever thankful, for my husband and his unending emotional support of my needs. It's not right that he has to handle this fallout for me to keep me standing. But he does. He does every day.<br />
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And then there is God. For every need, we are covered. This morning's passage (Day 4/24, as I've been missing the opportunity to write at night), in my delivered reading is from 1 Timothy 4:12-16. I need it. I need to apply it. I was most unholy in my words and thoughts last night after the conversation. I am at a point I can only give what Nik calls 'tough love' and it hurts. I hear Nik speak with encouraging words, even to my brother, and my own ability needs so much work.<br />
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<blockquote>
Let no one disregard you because you are young, but be an example to all the believers in the way you speak and behave, and in your love, your faith and your purity.<br />Until I arrive, devote yourself to reading to the people, encouraging and teaching.<br />You have in you a spiritual gift which was given to you when the prophets spoke and the body of elders laid their hands on you; do not neglect it.<br />Let this be your care and your occupation, and everyone will be able to see your progress.<br />Be conscientious about what you do and what you teach; persevere in this, and in this way you will save both yourself and those who listen to you.</blockquote>
Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-85875072621925114282013-09-19T05:03:00.002-07:002013-09-19T05:03:59.872-07:00Challenge - Day 2/24After recovering from the great chocolate incident of day one, I realized that yes, I was learning and recognizing self-sabotaging behaviour. I don't believe for one minute it's a result of starting the challenge, but it's a matter of becoming more mindful of what's going into my mouth. So, it's a win, and a pretty big one for me.<br />
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I awakened feeling sleepy and hungry but started with my spark and then morning routine--no exercise this morning, and getting ready for work was smooth. I had thanked myself again for taking time to prepare my meal components on Sunday. This was indeed a big help.<br />
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One of the challenges I have is feeling OK about eating during meetings. I've let a few colleagues know that I'm on a 'sugar fast' for a few weeks to help them understand my sudden and strange need to eat every couple of hours. It's proving OK. I realized I might want to keep some of the Catalyst at my desk 'just in case' things get off track and I'm unable to snack mid-afternoon.<br />
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Nik was not at home for dinner, and I arrived later than I intended after picking up our produce order and being waylayed at work five minutes before my scheduled departure. My dinner included panseared scallops, steamed snap peas and tomatoes, shallots and zucchini sauteed in olive oil with some dried herbs. It was delicious and filling, and, I had enough for leftovers to snack the next day.<br />
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By the end of the day I was ready for sleep. It came easily, but I was up again in the middle of the night to void the bladder. I know I have excellent kidney function with all the water I'm drinking. Here's to the quart size Eddie Bauer bottle: The new love of my life. Well, at least daily companion. :)<br />
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<br />Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-68037143448777146082013-09-17T04:22:00.001-07:002013-09-17T04:22:05.588-07:00Challenge - Day 1/24<blockquote class="tr_bq">
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.</blockquote>
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I spent the early months of summer working with a wonderful nutrition coach and a personal trainer at the gym. I was able to shed AND KEEP OFF 18 pounds of weight put on by stress and laziness in my life. My tenacity and interest waned throughout the end days of summer, as is wont to happen with any 'regimen' I adopt. I am not good at writing things down and I believe that I can do it on my own. These things are not true and I do need a good support network.<br />
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To get around my 'boredom' with my plan, I approached a friend who is an Advocare Coach. She herself lost 70+ pounds of post pregnancy weight a year or so ago. She is also a track coach at one of the local high schools. A natural cheerleader, she was on board with me getting started with her. I timed things to begin at the end of my vacation. After an hour coaching session last week, and a shopping spree, I was ready to begin.<br />
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Day 0 - Food and prep.<br />
I spent time going through the menu plan and supplement plan to determine what I'd need to eat clean without worry for the coming week. I spent an hour after the grocery store prepping, cutting, cleaning and cooking food for lunches and daily snacks. Salads pre-made in quart size baggies, veggies in snack baggies, almonds divided, turkey burgers cooked and frozen to make easy-protein-filled snacks for on the go. I wrote out what to eat at what time. Is this sustainable? It's only for 24 days, so here we go.<br />
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Day 1 - My Mondays and Wednesdays always begin at the gym with a 5:30AM Spinning class. I am not a morning person but I have learned to either keep quiet or put on a good face. At 5:00 I had my first legitimate taste of Spark, a vitamin and energy (caffeine) laden drink mix that is a bit sweet for my taste, but down the hatch it went. I sweat like nobody's business at the gym and sustained 75-80% of my MHR during workout--I usually keep it closer to 65. I don't know if it was the supplement or because I had been off the gym for nearly two weeks during vacation--I had been to Spinning the Saturday before today, though, so it wasn't Day one for the gym.<br />
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Breakfast came within a half hour of getting home from the gym. Two Omegaplex supplements (fish oil looking things--probably the 'omega' in Omegaplex), a fibery-drink with the flavor of peaches and cream, two eggwhites and one whole egg, scrambled, and a peach. Delish. The fibery drink wasn't so bad as I anticipated. It is like drinking heavy peach syrup. I was recommended to chug it down and so I do. By this point in the day I have had at least a quart and a half of liquid if you count my intake at the gym. know that I'll be in the ladies' most of the day.<br />
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My morning snack was a grilled turkey burger and a half cup of raspberries. The burger was still frozen somewhat...boy was that interesting to chew. Lunch came and my salad exceeded the size of the plate I had on hand. It looked like I was having a smorgasboard for lunch by the time I finished arranging my plate with shredded chicken on top. Water served me well again at lunch. We had a lunch meeting and so I was able to eat with 50+ of my colleagues as we met to discuss faculty matters. I was able to leave early as I had a desk shift to cover back at the library.<br />
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During the shift's first hour we were pretty busy. We had a faculty member who needed some assistance getting a high quality scan of a picture in a book. I took him to the Center--to help promote even its lower level services, and spied a community candy bowl on the table with the scanner. I took a Hershey's Special Dark miniature and walked back after handing off the faculty member. At the second chew, I realized what I had so mindlessly done. I found two tissues and spat the whole thing out. I had just shared with the student working the desk with me that I was 'off sugar' for a while and then I did this. I confessed, and we discussed mindlessness--he's a theology graduate student. So the good news is I caught myself before swallowing. The other good news is I have identified a trigger for mindless eating and know how it happens in the workplace so I have the opportunity to focus on that change in the next 23 days.<br />
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Dinner was great--orange roughy and steamed peas and Omegaplex. I ate some turkey breast for my evening snack and then took the 'Herbal Cleanse' pills before sleep--honestly, those are the worst-tasting thing I've encountered so far. Wish me well on my challenge. I think I'm going to need it.<br />
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<br />Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-6848108519855195982013-06-30T05:24:00.000-07:002013-09-19T05:26:04.321-07:00For one another, we love one another as ourselves<div class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span></div>
<h2 style="margin: 0px 0px 0.8em; padding: 0px;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0); font-family: inherit; font-weight: normal;">The reading below is from my daily scripture feed. It brought to mind the need for me to be a servant first. Always. It is so easy to fall prey to gossip and deconstructing others, and where is the return in that. It does not take so much to be open to service and love first and foremost.</span></span></h2>
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<span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">Reading 2, <em style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">Galatians 5:1, 13-18</em></span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><sup style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">1</sup> Christ set us free, so that we should remain free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be fastened again to the yoke of slavery.</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><sup style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">13</sup> After all, brothers, you were called to be free; do not use your freedom as an opening for self-indulgence, but be servants to one another in love,</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><sup style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">14</sup> since the whole of the Law is summarised in the one commandment: You must love your neighbour as yourself.</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><sup style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">15</sup> If you go snapping at one another and tearing one another to pieces, take care: you will be eaten up by one another.</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><sup style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">16</sup> Instead, I tell you, be guided by the Spirit, and you will no longer yield to self-indulgence.</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><sup style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">17</sup> The desires of self-indulgence are always in opposition to the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are in opposition to self-indulgence: they are opposites, one against the other; that is how you are prevented from doing the things that you want to.</span><span style="background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><sup style="margin: 0px; padding: 0px;">18</sup> But when you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the Law.</span></blockquote>
Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0Nappanee, IN 46550, USA41.431653399999988 -85.99174370000002941.241167899999986 -86.314467200000024 41.622138899999989 -85.669020200000034tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-85319718478181501152013-06-24T14:02:00.001-07:002013-06-24T14:02:44.376-07:00Readying the wayI started this post more than a year ago. All that was included was the URL to the "Success Checklist" below. I've gone through myriad change in the past year--haven't we all? Some of the points still resonate, and I have others that should be added to the list.<br />
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I'm attracted particularly to item 2 on the list,<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Your Skills and Natural Abilities Find Their Purpose</span></blockquote>
What a wow statement that is. I look for this each and every day, and sometimes foist my skills and abilities obtrusively on others. I do know one thing is true, I am a natural resource person for others. By 'resource' I don't mean that I have all the answers--God forbid I ever believe that about myself. I know better than to pretend that I know it all (I've been called that before, though). I love being helpful to others.<br />
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Using my skills and abilities I also satisfy numbers 3 and 9 on the list:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">Your Intellectual Curiosity is Stimulated Daily AND </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">You Pass Your Wisdom Along</span> </blockquote>
It's timely I found this draft today. I went looking for information on my next course in the IU Gerontology Certificate program. I have one more class to take and then a required practicum. I'm excited by the classwork and the experience I will gain, but I need to be able to manage something I am never quite convinced exists. It's number 6 on the list:<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #111111; font-family: Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;">You Master Work/Life Balance</span></blockquote>
If anyone reading this has done this, and thus, achieved number 10 on the list, "Your Mind is At Peace," then please come see me and help share your wisdom with me. I need it desperately.<br />
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<a href="http://brandmakernews.com/business-brand/3166/the-success-checklist-for-entrepreneurs.html">http://brandmakernews.com/business-brand/3166/the-success-checklist-for-entrepreneurs.html</a>Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5817938821958119276.post-15394626288180800692013-06-14T11:52:00.002-07:002013-06-14T11:52:36.250-07:00And things that are inherently ingrained in meOver lunch today I talked with colleagues I dont see on a regular basis. We talked a little about work but much about what the weekend would hold for each of us. We had one thing in common: We all looked forward to downtime. Its admittedly been a busy summer.<br />
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For one, I need a serious thinning of material objects from my house. My husband works consistently on meeting the goal of "less stuff." The task is a much more difficult endeavor for me, as I was raised by a family who had few monetary resources and unlimited ability to envision how something might come in handy at a later date. Things would be stored in the garage, the basement, the attic or under a tarp. I am not sure the homestead was classified as a hoarder house at the time, but let's imagine that I likely had on the rose colored glasses of a child with strong imagination.<br />
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I had few toys. My mom was a crafter. My favorite toy was anything that away available and could be molded into a shape similar to what I wanted to play with. I created microphones out of cardboard tubes, tissues and masking tape. Macguyver was my favorite television show as a tween. I was inventive and resourceful, talents I still value today.<br />
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And yet, because anything and everything might be used in the future, I do have challenges in getting rid of things. If that piece of well worn furniture is free,I might just have a use for it. If there is fabric, yarn or other craft materials, I cld do something with that sometime. These whabits Arjun counter to clutter free environments, and I find that it m ready to get rid of the clutter. A dear friend of mine is hosting a garage sale this summer, and I a going as all-in as possible. Please pray for me. Please wish me well. Please offer me an hour or two of your time if you are local to help. I will be so thankful of your time and I will cook for you, mix you a drink or offer you coffee and laughter. I will hope that you let me cry on your shoulder if I have difficulty letting something go. It just needs to go. And so, go, it must.Mandy Haverthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11194813237339762947noreply@blogger.com0